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The Weed Scene
Outgoing links (with the arrow icon next to the blue text) are to theme music playing in-universe. Monday, December 17th, Big High Tommy looked in the mirror sighed fixed his hair pushing some out of his face. Is it really that long? It was getting frizzier as it grew out. He sighed and picked up his phone and gym bag. The other boys on the team tended not to talk to him. Probably the sword scars. Maybe the bullet one. Maybe the tattoo? Tommy threw his bag down on the ground and leaned up against the row of lockers. Unlocking phone he went to various websites including Elle’s fanpage. He smiled seeing Elle’s response then saw his screw up with his whole anonymous email thing. This made him blush deeper. Every so often as someone came out he’d look up. Finally Gwen did. Phone was gone. He pushed off the wall picking his bag up and gently grabbed her shoulder. Tommy gave an easy smile. “Hold up, dude. You’ve been gone a while. We need to just hang and chill sometime...” Gwen had her earbuds in and had music on full blast when Tommy grabbed her shoulder. She tensed up and as she turned her hand instinctively flung out and slapped against his chest, as if she’d been watching too much Iron Fist. “Oh, it’s just you. I’m sorry,” she apologized, taking out one earbud. “I… yeah maybe. I don’t know about that. I’ve been a little tense lately. Things have been hectic. There’s not really time to chill with, y’know, the life. The city. Stuff happening all the time.” Tommy rubbed his chest where she had slapped him. The boy grimaced a little. He had backed up slightly giving space between the two. “Oof. Just me.” Tommy said after a small nod and acknowledgement “Yeah, that is true. There isn’t time to be like a teen or whatever… but fuck it. Want to go get high? No bullshit, no hang-ups about the city or saving people, we just go get high at my place and do some real talk for at least a little while?” Gwen shook her head and grimaced a little. “I didn’t mean it like that.” She took her other earbud out and put the cords away. “I guess that might be nice. Real talk though? Hah, am I in trouble?” Tommy gave a small smile. “What were you listening to? I know just teasing.” Tommy moved closer again. Tommy put his his left wrist into his right hand keeping it close to his body and rubbed along one of the vine tattoos on his wrist. “Both of us are always in trouble. So probably. Will have to come along to find out.” Gwen opened her locker and put some of her books away, along with her gym shoes, and took out a book entitled ‘The Republic of Pirates’ that had a big library sticker and barcode on it. She smiled at Tommy and took out the earbuds again, handing one to him. Tommy took the earbud putting it in and listened intently leaving them quiet for a few seconds.“You speak German?” He said adjusting his bag putting it more onto his shoulder. “Damn this is alright. So you’re interested then?” “Only ein bisschen,” she shrugged, “enough to know what it’s about.” Gwen put the other bud into her ear and let the first one dangle. She pondered the offer. “Sure. I don’t have any plans today. Base gets lonely. Lead the way, chief.” “And what’s that?” Tommy looked about seeing the school was fairly empty. “Oh, guess I should have thought of something snappy to say for this then.” Tommy snapped his fingers and the floral inlay of Tommy’s portals appear underneath them. Vovo’s Apartment They fell through landing on the carpeted floor of an apartment. It was small but homely and currently in a state of disarray. The living room and kitchen were connected. Sprawled across the kitchen table were various documents from city council meets dating back to the 90s. A corkboard with various GREY leaders and interests that the Big Team are aware of various strings and pins linking them in different colours.”Uh sorry about the mess, Grandma has been doing some work on this whole GREY thing.” Tommy said picking up a bong from a hidden panel behind the TV set. Gwen let’s out a surprised yelp as they fall through the floor, a sound that very suddenly disappears from the school halls. Landing, she stumbles and falls, knocking some things off the coffee table. She scrambles up. “The mess is fine! Warn me next time, fuck!” She rifles through her bag and sighs. “I forgot a book. I’ll just pick it up tomorrow. Ugh, why do we gotta have a test on the last Friday of the year? I hope we get snowed in.” Lavender smirked over at her. “I mean aren’t superheroes supposed to be good at sticking landings? So that’s more like your fault but yeah, next time.” Tommy picked up the clutter she had put on the floor setting it back on the table. He then opened the door to the balcony and pulled out his lighter. “We can just get it later. I do that all the time. I don’t know school was all year for me when I was still in military school so even have a break is nice...” Tommy went to the railing leaned over and took a long hit. “But, fuck yeah, I hope for a snow day...” He said then look back in the door at her. Gwen zipped up her jacket and pulled her beanie hat a little further down before stepping outside and huddling down with some pillows in the wicker chair that stood on the balcony. “Ass,” she muttered at Lav’s back, shaking her head with a smile mixed with frustration. “So… military school huh. What was that like?” Tommy sighed and spat over the edge.“It was y’know where I got trained to be a ‘superhero’ and lived after my mom left and I had turned my back on the rest of my family. I hated it. I didn’t know that then I thought I was doing the right thing or some shit.” Tommy turned to her and walked over closer to her still leaning against the railing. He held out the bong.“You need a blanket or something?” Gwen took the bong from Tommy and nodded. “I could use one. Avalon never got this cold and I never got used to it.” She stared at the bong as if lost in thought. “I guess I missed the last two winters too, and the last two Christmases…” Tommy nodded and put a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re here for this one right? I’ll make sure that you get to enjoy it and so will everyone else on the team. We’re family, now, whether you like it or not.” Tommy touched her shoulder again giving it a pat then went back inside to grab a blanket for Gwen. “Heh… thanks, Tommy,” Gwen managed a wry, awkward smile. Family, huh? That was one way to think about. Small wonder that so many teammates referred to Cyclone as ‘team dad’. Certainly it might seem like that was the case, even moreso for those teammates lacking in fathers or those who could live nowhere else but the team base. To Valor he was his uncle, of course. To Zip, well, Zip did have parents, even if they didn’t know where she was now, as far as Gwen knew. To Squire? Probably not Squire. Gwen herself refused to acknowledge the man in any parental or guardian-like capacity. He was just the person who provided her a place to live and a weekly allowance for school lunches, clothes and some other necessary (and “necessary”) things. She was still getting used to living on a budget and needing to know how much things cost. She took a hit from the bong and stared out into the night. Practice had run long and it was dark already. Looking back to her life in the past--but not too near in the past--she had to laugh a little at how different things were. Family? It was a strong word to use so casually. Yet, on the other hand, she did feel that way about some of the team members. Her relationships with DomDom and Freedo could best be described as “big brother” and “little brother” respectively. The times she’d hung out with Redstreak, the girl had clung to her like her little sister Fleur had, years ago. Then there was Rhiannon--who was her cousin, so the team even included actual blood relatives of hers--and Elle... She didn’t want to think about Elle. Not in that way. She’d considered trying to prove somehow that she wasn’t Lancelot, her father, but… “Family, huh,” she muttered, taking another, deeper hit. “Family’s a crapshoot sometimes.” Tommy went into his home. Looked at his cousin’s “bed,” the couch. He had cleaned the blankets up for once or vovó had. Then he went into his room grabbing a blanket that he used as a second layer from underneath ruining his well-made bed. He had thought about how having vovó back would change things but things had just twisted back to normal, back to before she had went missing. Life went on. She acted like nothing had happened. He thought that’s just how supers do things when they go away… That’s what Gwen did... They expected everything to be okay like the world didn’t have problems that weren’t theirs. He heard Gwen’s words as he stepped out and walked over handing the blanket to her. He had put on a thick jean jacket in the intermittent time to give himself an extra layer. He let the air be quiet for a moment leaning back against the railing. He gave a long sigh his breath hitting the cold and causing a mist. “Family is a crapshoot, but they stick to you. They don’t get to choose you and you don’t get to choose them. They’re just there for you. You have to do the same thing for them even if sometimes you hate them.” Gwen frowned at Tommy and shook her head at him as she handed him the bong. “Maybe for you. You got your vovo. My father’s in some Hell-prison and I haven’t seen my mother or siblings in years. I’ve got RhiRhi, but… I guess that does apply to her.” She shrugs and pulls up her legs as she swaddles herself in the blanket Tommy gave her. “Thanks for the blanket.” She was quiet for a little bit, staring up at the stars that were coming out. “Hey, Tommy? Would you still want to help me bust my father out of Hell if he was a human trafficker?” “I lost my grandma for years because of choices that I made. I’ve lost my mom to herself. My dad didn’t give a shit about me. I know where you are at. I was there. I still am sometimes.” Tommy took the bong into his hands. “No problem, I hope it helps you be warm.” Tommy took a long hit. Tommy then took in a deep breath. He looked out over the edge towards the lights of Chinatown. Held the bong for a long moment. You forgave yourself didn’t you? Why not save another? “Yes,” Tommy took another puff then continued handing the bong back to Gwen. “But I’d take away his powers or at least his sword unless he is repentant… I am hypocritical in this though. I mean I kinda did some shit like that for my AEGIS group. Besides from what you told me that place isn’t right even if you believe in prisons as reformative institutions and... more importantly you love him.” Tommy sighed slightly looking down at the ground in front of him. “Which means for better or worse that I have to help.” Gwen nodded along to Tommy’s words. “I do,” she responded when he said her loving her father was important. She blinked, trying to ward off oncoming tears. There was plenty about their relationship that she could doubt, but throughout all the years, he’d often done things that reminded her that even when he was distant, he was still trying to be there for her. She was very okay with the idea of putting Rodriguez in the Hell-prison that was Ferinon, however. “At least your family seems… normal. When I was in space with Elle it was very weird and awkward sometimes. She kept calling me ‘daughter’. That’s… ugh. I like her and all, she’s a good teammate and she’s not some mean girl, but she needs to back off.” Tommy just held the bong in the air between them tilting his head up from the floor to look her directly in the eyes. At first he seemed sympathetic and almost sad to her but something had changed in his demeanor as she talked about space. The boy lacked in expression would be a good way of putting it. “Yea, must have been difficult but it is for her too. She sees you as her future kid and you don’t think she might find that hard? Like she feels responsible for you. You need to be considerate of her feelings.” Tommy tightened his right hand into a fist. ‘Tommy stop’ was all he heard in his head. He felt like he was about to cry but nothing showed on his face. “It isn’t all about you, Gwen. Though it always seems like you want it to be. What with the whole ditching Big Team thing for space? Or the greater good? I don’t care what excuse you have. You’re running from your problems. Ditching basketball. Ditching your girlfriend. Ditching Rhiannon. Ditching me. Blaming Elle. You think that made anyone feel good?” He still held the bong out to her. His eyes were still expressionless. The hazel colour only adding to an artificial gaze barely containing his emotion. “My family isn't normal. The three of us that live here have just decided not to run from each other.” Gwen stared at him incredulously. She gently batted aside the bong as Tommy held it out. “Is that what you think? That I did this to get away from you, and Olivia, and Rhiannon, and everyone else? Fucking hell, Tommy. I wouldn’t have done that just to run away from everyone and everything that I--” Shaking her head, she got out of the wicker chair and pushed past Tommy, walking back inside. She paced around the living room, holding her head in her hands. That was a lot he was just suddenly throwing at her, blaming her for. Did he blame her for Rhiannon getting kidnapped, too? Did he blame her for Olivia losing her memory? Did he even know about that? She ripped off her beanie hat and threw it at a chair in frustration. She stood still for a few moments, breathing fast at first, then more slowly and deeply. Tommy had wanted real talk, huh? He would get it. Gwen walked over to the small, older stereo installation on a side-table by the wall and plugged in her phone. Real talk and smoking weed was not as good if there was no music, in her opinion. She selected a playlist she had made together with Tommy weeks before and hit play. She walked back outside, her jaw clenching a little, slightly anxious. “Okay, Flower, you think I think it’s all about me? You think I just… that I just ditch the people I love because I’m being selfish? You’re not the first to tell me, Gabe already told me off because ‘you have a duty to this team as captain’,” she imitated Gabe’s tone. “We weren’t given time to give proper goodbyes, so I wrote letters to at least let my friends know what I was doing and let them know how I feel about them, that they’re good and they can make do without me. I’m being selfish? You’re being selfish! How dare you chastise me for trying to do the right thing. Are you like this with your other friends or do you just enjoy being a dick to me?” Tommy had just stood outside watching her freak out whispering a “sorry” underneath his breath. When she came back out he just stood there silent. He listened to her words “I don’t have another friend like you. The one I had got fucking hospitalized by Thorne and we haven’t talked in weeks. I am not Gabe, I don't give a single flying fuck about ‘duty.’” Tommy stared back at her furrowing his brow. Then brought the bong up and took another hit sliding down the railing till he sat on the wet concrete of the balcony “I don't care if it was the right thing, Gwen. I know I am being selfish but so were you! So fuck it! Yeah, I am an abhorrent selfish prick get over it. I just wanted my one “normal” friend to be there for me.” Tommy said before reaching the bong out to her once more. Real talk did not mean that you don't share weed. Gwen took the bong from Tommy and looked down him. She shook her head and took a hit. Sitting on the ground like that, Tommy looked small. Vulnerable. She raised a foot and tapped against his leg. “Come on, Tommy,” she said in a mock-chastising tone, “you’re not abhorrent. Just your choice in ‘normal’ friends is.” A small smile grew on his face. “Is it? Wouldn’t know don’t have a large sample size. I think my taste is fairly good. You are a good friend just it really felt like you ditched me.” The boy said looking back at her. “I am not saying you leaving was the wrong decision just that it hurt me. I don’t know I just hide my feelings a lot of the time and I wanted to say this.” Gwen smiled a little bit. She turned and dragged the wicker chair with one hand over to sit next to Tommy. “It’s okay,” she said, sitting down. “Well, it’s not okay, but… I apologize. Perhaps I should’ve called. Or at least written a letter that was more about normal stuff and not… y’know. That.” She turned her ear to the radio and pressed her lips tightly together. “I’ve had enough for a bit,” she said, poking Tommy with the bong. “I’m gonna get the munchies soon, but right now I’m hungry for some details, my man.” She huddled into her blanket and leaned in with a conspiratorial smirk. “Scale from one to ten, how do rate Rhi’s kisses?” “That would’ve been nice. Thanks. For like listening” Tommy took the bong setting it down beside him. He was fairly disorientated and knew another hit wouldn’t be a good idea for a while. Tommy cheeks flush and he slowly chuckled. His hands fidgeted in his lap rubbing his wrist again. “I mean we’ve only kissed once or twice not enough to judge significantly but a solid eight. Better than Thorne. Why do you ask trying to survey easy prey? Figure out something about my kisses?” Tommy joked while narrowing his eyes slightly. “Pffft, no! Dork,” Gwen punches Tommy’s shoulder and gives him a mischievous look. “But I would have told Rhi you told me she was terrible if you didn’t dish.” “You are horrible. You’d break her heart with that,” Tommy said half chuckling. “Well, how about you and… Rekken right? How’d you rate her kisses?” Gwen fell silent at the question. She stared at the balcony floor and hid her face behind a hand. “I’m not sure I really want to talk about that,” she admitted. “There’s things, parts of… whatever we have right now, that maybe I should talk about, but it’s… it’s hard. It’s like we started at the high point, but the ship is headed for the sirens.” She groaned at the music that came on. “Okay, fair deal, I should at least answer, I guess. Four stars out of five. There was this one time when it was a little awkward cuz, y’know, she’s… stretchy, and she was messing about. But the times we kissed were very good. Her lips are soft and cool and a little tingly, and there’s just the tiniest bit of vibration when she’s nervous or excited and it’s… it’s adorable.” Her eyes lit up for a moment as she talked about it, but as she finished, Gwen pressed her lips tightly together, making an awkward expression of discomfort mixed with helplessness. Tommy put a hand on her knee from the ground. “It’s okay, relationships are hard, I get it. I mean are you okay with what’s going on? Like what changed? I don’t really know Rekken at all so...” He gave her a look of sympathy with his weary eyes. “If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s cool too but… If you do just like talk to me.” His butt was starting to go kinda numb from sitting on the wet concrete but he felt transfixed into this discuss. “Olivia,” she said. “I don’t know what changed, not really,” she sighed. “Like, the first time I saw her again was after I got back from space and had been in quarantine for disease checkups, and we met at school and we hung out after, and it turned out that she has no memory of me. Like, at all? She only remembered seeing me around the base and school, but she’d forgotten about taking me to the Big Dance, going to Hell together, all the little times, our gifts, our…” her voice became small, “kisses.” She sounded almost embarrassed, ashamed to make herself vulnerable. When it came to all the bad things from her past, she’d confided in Tommy a lot before, but her personal feelings for other people she’d only ever talked about with those people in detail. She’d talked to friends, teammates, about her relationship with Olivia, but the details, how she made her feel, her gifts, The Big Kiss, the smaller ones that followed, that was all things she’d kept to herself, Olivia, and her journal. And nobody had read her journal. “It was just last Friday, so it’s… very fresh. We had a mission of sorts together on Saturday too, and she was just… she was wonderful. At first. She got me out of the hands of a gang of aliens that were kidnapping people, and by the end of it, after we’d gotten them to leave Earth, she asked me out to dinner. I got some hope that her memory getting deleted was not the end of it,” her lip trembled, “but when I got to the place, she wasn’t there! I went to her house, and she’d just gone off to some other place! She had asked me out and then stood me up without letting me know, without leaving a message, without a good reason why.” Tears welled up in her eyes and she hid her face behind her hands. Tomás stood and hugged her. “Gwen, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. It’s… hard when someone changes a lot. Who doesn’t remember you like that. It was hard on my vovó when Grandpa got Alzheimers. It was hard on all of us. We didn’t know what to do. This is kinda like that I think. I don’t know.” Tommy sighed hard. “I am not very good at this, I am sorry. Another thing is we are teens we are shitty to each other, Gwen. That’s small comfort now but I think Rekken will apologize when she realizes she was being shitty.” Tommy knelt down on both knees pulling out from the hug. He took both of her hands setting them on her lap. “It’s okay to cry. It means you care. It means this matters to you. It means you love her and still do. I cried a lot after Thorne, like, a lot. I know she was a real shitty person, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t have some good memories. I think… focus on that right now. Focus on how this can get better. How you can fix this. Rekken did a shitty thing by ditching you but you need to just be yourself and let all that burn out for now. So please just let it all out and when your done we can have some warm tea inside.” Gwen let herself lean into the hug, but didn’t unbury her face. She wiped at her eyes as Tommy let go, before he took hold of her hands. She tried and failed to smile. “Heh, yeah, I care. I’m one hot mess because of it, though. Real talk, eh?” She squeezed his hands. “Thanks, Tommy.” She took a deep breath and let it escape slowly, trying to center herself and focus, like he’d said. The tears slowed down and she blinked them away. Her lip stopped trembling. “Tea sounds nice. Clear our heads a little.” Tommy gave a somber smile back at her.The boy stood up continuing to hold her hands for a moment. “It is no problem. Yeah, sorry, guess today was the day we wanted to drop the feels on each other.” He blushed letting go of her hands after a moment. “So uh… tea right? What kind do you like?” Tommy stammered out looking away from Gwen and the starting to head inside. “Heh. Chai or rooibos is fine. Licorice tea if you got it. Maybe with some honey?” Gwen responded, putting her feet down and getting up to walk after Tommy. She wiped at her eyes again. “I can’t promise to not drop more feels on you after this. Maybe only smaller ones though.” “I love feelings as much as they hurt. So feel free to give them” Tommy checked the cupboards after heading into the kitchen. “We have some Lavender rooibos ironically… along with Masala chai? Which would you prefer? Also what’s licorice tea like?” Tommy checked a drawer and smiled “We have some honey. Rather I do I am a big fan of sweet stuff.” He said picking up the electric kettle putting some water into it and then setting it down to turn on. “Let’s go for Masala chai for me, much as I like the irony,” Gwen said. “Lavender rooibos, huh? Maybe you should offer some to Rhi when she comes over. She prefers Earl Grey though.” She leaned against the wall and looked into the kitchen. “Cozy place,” she noted, “speaking of Rhi…” she didn’t finish her sentence, leaving an unspoken question hanging in the air. A question about real talk and feels. “I will make sure to get some for her if she ever comes over then.” Lavender got out the tea bag putting it into the cup and following with some of the boiling water from the kettle. He did the same for himself except he’d put some of the loose rooibos tea into a strainer. “Yeah it is. What’s that about Rhi?” Tommy mixed a tablespoon of the honey into Gwen’s tea having gotten it out moments. He looked concerned at her hesitation. “Is everything good?” “Everything’s fine,” Gwen replied, then decided to be straightforward. “How’s your relationship going? I heard you two were dating.” “She and I are, yeah.” Tommy replied looking a little weirded out. Setting their tea down watching it steep. “It is going well. I think. Why do you ask?” “Just curious really,” Gwen shrugged, “you’re my friend and she’s my cousin and I want you both to be happy.” Her eyes focused on the tea for a few quiet moments. “Have you told her that you’re polyamorous yet?” Tommy looked at her befuddled, blushed, and then looked down at the tea cup.”You saw that in my memories? I haven't I can barely admit that to myself.” He asked his voice quiet pulling the tea bag and strainer out disposing them into the bin putting the strainer into the sink to let it dry out. “Milk is in the fridge. Do you know the other stuff as well?” “Yeah,” Gwen nodded, “it wasn’t super clear, but after thinking about it it seemed obvious.” She added some milk to her tea and stirred the mixture. “I’m kinda new to that bit, but I read some stuff on SuperTwitter I think? So, yeah, if you mean being… genderfluid, it’s called, right?” “Yeah… that but uh… y’know I was meaning something else…” Tommy was blushing profusely at this point. He was holding onto the cup of tea like it was a lifeline. “That's just not something that I am good with and something I can't deal with right now. So watch me deflect this by saying that I thought you found out that I like you, Gwen. Not just like but like like you. Since this is a real talk might as well get it all out.” Tommy sputtered out in a few brief moments. Gwen’s mouth hung open. She thought she’d been the one bringing surprise revelations here, but Tommy had been right about her being self-centered, on this for sure, because she was dumbstruck. “Oh,” was all that came out. She raised her cup of tea so she could hide behind it and slurped audibly. “That’s… nice.” Tommy wasn’t happy with that reaction but he had seen enough soaps to not freak out. He picked up his own tea drank it slowly himself giving a measuring look to the wall behind Gwen and then set his cup down. “Yeah, it is. That’s really all you have to say though?” “Look, Tommy, I’m not new to people having multiple lovers. My father has had a few, even amongst the Knights of the Round Table, but that is not me.” She shrugged and reached out to his arm to reassure him with a gentle touch. “You’re a good friend, a ‘normal’ good friend, but not in that way, not to me. I’m a—” she smiled, a little sadly, but emboldened by Tommy’s earlier assurances. “I’m a one-robot kinda girl.” “Just cause I am poly, you think I want multiple partners even if my partner is uncomfortable with it?” Tommy said turning his nose up at being compared to the round table. Tommy sighed furrowing his brow again. Tommy pushed away from her arm standing distinctly separate. “I am not like the oligarchs that rule Avalon. I am better than them my relationships are built on consent. I understand that you just might want to emphasize us being just friends but don't assume you know how I like my relationships to work. That was me telling my feelings nothing more.” Gwen frowned back at Tommy. “I’m sorry if I offended or hurt you, Tommy. I didn’t mean to sound like I presumed you wouldn’t talk about this with Rhi. Relationships are meant to exist in a way that everyone who’s a part of them is okay with it, but…” She took a breath and put down her teacup, brushed away a strand of hair and put her hands together. “Okay, I… I acknowledge your feelings. Thank you for telling me, for trusting me.” She pressed her lips tightly together and let the words sink in for a moment. “But don’t you dare presume that my father’s relationships were not built on consent. My father’s done bad things, he’s murdered a lot of people, and though I know most worked for GREY I cannot rule out that he may have harmed innocents. But he’s not a rapist,” she gave Tommy a strong stare. Her breath was heavy, her pulse fast. “And if you ever dare imply that again, you either have some really good evidence to back up your words, or some really powerful friends to back up your face.” “Sorry, how I said that came out wrong. Your father is a piece of shit because he doesn't build his relationships on trust and communication but instead uses deceit and commits adultery by not seeking out consent from his partners’ significant other. I would never cheat. I am better than him” Tommy said getting closer moving into her face.“Gwendolyn du Lac, I have fought harder motherfuckers than you and if you threaten my pretty little face again I will know that I was right about you earlier. You will show me just how little you care…” Tommy’s voice faded as tears began swelling in his eyes. “Sorry. Just go. I don’t give a shit anyways. You only care about your stupid sword anyways. Do you have any concern for anyone or anything else besides it?” Gwen’s hands turned into fists be her sides as she looked up at the tall boy. She set a step forward so that there was maybe an inch between them. She gritted her teeth and breathed through her nose. She really wanted to punch him, but something reminded her that this was a lot like when Parrot lashed out at her while they were in space. Like someone who was scared of something, but didn’t want to admit it openly. Someone who felt like they couldn’t trust her as much as they’d thought. “You’re crying an awful lot for someone who says that he… that they don’t care,” she said. “If you’re my friend, you won’t lie to me. I’ll never lie to you. But even if you’re not my friend, don’t you dare lie to yourself.” She prods his chest with a finger. “You don’t know my father. Whatever stories you’ve got around here, you ought to know one thing: Lancelot is not Lancelot. Many have borne the name. You don’t know my father,” she repeats, “and because of that, and because you’re… because you’re being a shitty teen right now, I’ll forgive you.” Gwen focuses on her breathing to stay calm, in control, and removes her finger from Tommy’s chest. “''That'' is why I forgive you, and not because you do have a pretty face.” “Because I do care you, dumbass. I don’t get you. I am just so fucking done with you presuming that me liking you that way meant that I’d want to be with you. I am with Rhi, I haven't even told her I am poly” Tommy drew in a long breath not letting the tears come out. He didn't want to concede to her. “Even if I had I would never betray her trust that way by getting into another relationship without talking to her. I am explicit with that stuff. You are exactly like Thorne because you both presume that shit is about you” Tommy stopped and shook his head biting his bottom lip then sighed. “Sorry, I didn't mean that. You are way better than Thorne. I am just saying I could never be with you because as awesome as you are and as much as I like you... You just push at people and you choose intentionally destructive actions that hurt your relationships and yourself. You're self-destructive, so am I but you aren't doing anything about it." Tommy sighed his chest moving uneasily up and down as his adrenaline made him shakey. “I am sorry for insulting your father but I do not want to be compared to an Avalonian oligarch. I might know nothing but was taught enough.” “I stopped presuming that the moment it became clear you hadn’t told Rhi about it!” Gwen shouted. When Tommy compared her to Thorne, her expression turned to a mixture of shock, disgust and betrayal. “I’ve told you that I think you’re being a dick, but I never thought of you as a bad person, Tommy.” She set a step back, a hurt look on her face. Her gaze fell to the ground, then she pushed past Tommy, walking towards the front door of the apartment. At the door to the living room, she stopped. Without turning around, she talked to Tommy. “I know I’ve been self-destructive,” she said, shaking a little. It was hard thing to admit out loud. “And I don’t want it to destroy others too. Olivia doesn’t deserve that. Rhiannon doesn’t deserve that. None of my friends deserve that. I don’t yet know how to be a hero, to do what I do best, without that, but I’ll figure it out. Not on my own, I… I’ve learned that that’s stupid. But I’ll figure it out! I’ll be better!” She turned halfway around and looked at Tommy, tears in her eyes. “But if this is how you treat your one ‘normal’ friend, who’s trying to understand you, who’s trying to be the bigger person, I don’t think we can be friends.” Not wanting to give him a chance to respond, she turned and walked to the front door and opened it. “Fuck, Gwen…” Tommy whispered under his breath grabbing her shoulder by his right hand having moved close to her during her speech quietly listening letting her move as she had went. The floral interlacing sigils of Lavender’s portals appeared under the floor tracing an outline underneath and between them. The sigil was left incomplete vines not connecting. “I am sorry. I know I said real talk but fucking hit me because I didn’t mean it to be dumb. I just I know you are trying, you are the bigger person, I am a shitty teenager, you are too...” Tommy took a long breath. “But you are my friend and I wouldn’t ever change that. I know I was trying my hardest just a moment ago.” Tommy gave a sad smile to the back of her head. “I just lets not end something… I don’t…” Tommy paused sighing then his voice came back shakily. “The truth is I can’t open up to people. I am defensive. I find it really hard when people enter my space after all I went through. I wasn’t expecting you to know all that it that makes me scared, Gwen. I am scared to be me. The truth is Tommy, Lavender, Flower, or whatever other fucking name I use means shit because it’s all a mask. It’s a mask for me to hide behind. Hide from all the shit I went through...” Tommy couldn’t hold it back at this point he cried not a loud cry but a quiet one. Tears came down his face to quietly meet the floor beneath. “I just need to know the answer to these questions. Do you know who I am Gwen? What I am? What I’ve done? Walk out that door and you give me an answer that might really mean we can’t be friends anymore” Gwen breathed sharply, holding on tight to the doorknob. She tensed up under Tommy’s touch. Her heart was beating fast, pumping adrenaline, firing her instincts into a fight or flight reaction that she tried to fight against. She rubbed at her eyes with the back of her other hand. Her fingers dug into the doorknob, knuckles turning white from tension. She let go and turned around abruptly, facing Tommy again, holding a fist close to his chest. “I should fucking hit you,” she acknowledged his own words, “you definitely deserve it for constantly pulling me in and then pushing me away again, as if this is all my fault, as if I’m the only shitty one in this relationship. You can’t just say that you’re also shitty and then do nothing to show that you understand that! You can’t just apologize about shit you said, right after you said it, and then throw more shit after it!” She placed her fist against Tommy’s chest and looked him in the eye. “Tomás Flores, I’ve told you what I’ve seen of your past, what I know about you. I told you you’re a dick, but not a bad person. All cards on the table, ball is in your court. Are you gonna keep dumping shit on me and pushing me away,” she was shaking visibly, her voice was unstead, “or are you going to talk to me like a real friend does? Because honestly, my usual option three of just punching you is not available. Because I’m gonna prove to you and to myself that I can do things without being destructive. The question is,” Gwen set a step back and put a hand on the doorknob. “Are you gonna do the same?” She turned and started pulling the door closed. “Call me when you know the answer. I’ll be there.” Tommy reaches for the door but Gwen had moved quicker. He had hesitated. Tommy smashes an angry fist into the door. The door creaks. Tommy lets himself slump to his knees and smacks his forehead into it. A glowing floral trail follows him to the door from the original outline between him and Gwen. Tommy sits back into a kneel and the floral pattern interlaces and completes itself. Tommy falls through the floor disappearing into black. Category:Scenes Category:Gwendolyn du Lac Category:Lavender Category:B-Verse